ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Aventinus (10-3-5) secured its first ten-win season Sunday night 3-1 against Barracuda, thanks in large part to tremendous heart displayed by the scrappy upstarts, prompting some to demand a contract renegotiation.
According to team officials, Amy Senne’s agent sent an early-morning fax after registering her first point of the season demanding a trade that will send Senne to the Nashville Predators for Filip Forsberg, a bag of pucks, and a pat on the back. “We think Senne is ready,” said her agent.
Indeed, the Twittersphere has positively exploded with comment. “Ready for the big leagues!” it read.
“Listen, we’re all super happy that Amy got the assist,” said GM Mark Woods. “But let’s face it; the deal is way too lopsided. There’s no way I’m giving anyone in Nashville a pat on the back.”
Senne, who once punched Woods during a game, is known for her volatility and outspokenness. However, she has not made any comments over the recent developments.
Others, however, have been more vocal, particularly regarding recent play.
“Jeff (Phillion) was yelling stuff like ‘Skate hard or get off the ice!'” said defenseman Ron Coleman, who registered an assist, “Only a bit more colorful.”
“Not a warm and fuzzy win, but I’ll take it,” said Phillion. “We shouldn’t have to be worrying about Barracuda until the last three minutes of the third.”
Despite the assessment by critics as a “chase-the-puck” effort, the team methodically dismantled Barracuda with goals in each period from Scott Bray, Chris Sutton, and Phillion respectively.
Aventinus closes out the regular season against Goon Squad Wednesday.