ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Aventinus moved to the semi-final game after beating Bell’s Beer 3-2 Wednesday night on Varsity Rink, and one would think this would be cause for celebration. The team has its first winning season in years, and its second playoff win in the last three seasons. What’s not to celebrate?
“We need 60 minutes of effort,” said the curmudgeonly old goaltender Ryan Bidwell (with the heart of gold). “Not 57 minutes.”
Added Bidwell: “I’ll even give you 57 minutes and 30 seconds.”
“The road is only going to get tougher from here,” added Joe Crossno, the stoic old defenseman.
In the press conference following the game, coach Mark Woods focused on “the need for improvement.”
“We need to play more aggressively, make quicker decisions, and skate harder,” said the crusty old coach. “We’ll have to play a lot better if we want to make it into the finals.”
For younger members, the mood coming from the old men proved baffling. “I’m not sure why the coach is being such a fuddy duddy,” said spry, young defenseman Mark Woods. “I scored a goal. What more does he want?”
“I’m so pumped that we won!” exclaimed spunky young forward Ginny Klinesteker. “And I scored a goal!”
Despite the attempts to remain positive, the dressing room was somewhat subdued, prompting young newcomer Chris Sutton to shake his head in bewilderment. “This is the most disappointing playoff win, ever.”
Team doctors have prescribed higher fiber diets for the old men in the hopes of flushing out the negativity. Dude, we’re like in the semi-finals. Doesn’t that count for anything?
“We measure success in championships,” said old, wet blanket GM Mark Woods.