Pizza Eaten Over Kitchen Sink

ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination improved to 7-4 Tuesday night after the team brought everything, everyone, and the proverbial kitchen sink to Varsity Rink. After a sluggish start, Ruination came back from a 2-4 deficit to score three goals in the third and win by a 5-4 margin. True to its championship mentality, the team was largely unimpressed with its play.

“The game was kinda blah,” said defenseman Paul Sholtis.

Perhaps the team is used to winning, or perhaps they were so enamored of their new hoodies, hats, and sweat pants that the game– the win– seemed almost secondary. Or maybe, just maybe they collectively wished defenseman Jason Spence was there to (dare I say) dispence justice to any goon getting in the way.

“Maybe it was the fact that thirty guys showed up to play,” said GM Mark Woods. “It’s kinda hard to get into a game when you play two shifts a period.”

Among the healthy scratches for the night included defenseman Mark Woods, Al Johnson, and newly reacquired winger Matt Schaefer, who seemed almost despondent when interviewed following the decision to not play him. “It’s fine,” he said, carefully averting eye contact.

The game featured a rejuvenated Thompson’s, who have reportedly added a former pro roller hockey player. The addition seemed to initially work, as the Pizza Boys ended the first up 2-1, spoiled only by defenseman Anthony Ciati’s unassisted goal. Sean McGrath helped to keep it within a goal in the second, answering Thompson’s Mike Piotrowski’s goal about five minutes into the period. However, Scott Geverink made it 4-2, and it looked as though Ruination was in real trouble.

But, that’s when the team is its most dangerous.

A methodic march to victory began and ended with goals from Devin Collingridge and a power play goal from John Vellla. For good measure, hard feelings with 0:30 seconds left resulted in a game misconduct for Thompson’s Geverink.

Ruination stands in third behind Goon Squad and Mott, and will face Cleveland next Tuesday following the Memorial Day weekend.