Category: Ruination

Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team

Ruination Top Topes, Manufacture Win

ANN ARBOR– Known throughout the league as the Manufacturing Line, forwards Chris Sutton, Andrew Thompson, and Brian Lefevre dominated play Tuesday night as Ashley’s Ruination topped Ice-o-topes C 6-3. “It feels great to be so productive offensively,” noted Thompson. “We’re…

What a Deal – Lopez Found!

LOS ANGELES– Forward Shawn Lopez, former Ashley’s Ruination star who disappeared under mysterious circumstances, has allegedly resurfaced eighteen months after a nationwide search was called off. Though officials have not entirely confirmed his identity, fans have been buzzing. “It’s him!…

Better Late Than Ever

ANN ARBOR– Ever for the flair for the dramatic, Ruination waited until literally the last second in order to extend their unbeaten streak to 18 games stretching back to November 4 of last year, and their fifth straight win over…

Alien Hockey Invaders Exposed!

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hockey Franchise came under scrutiny Friday when a picture circa 1947 began circulating clearly depicting two contemporary Ashley’s players. “You can clearly see that (Ricky) Winowiecki and (Kenny) Schmidt are in their mid to late twenties in…

Team Takes a Knee, Protesting Fatigue

ANN ARBOR– Several players were spotted “taking a knee” throughout Ruination’s 6-3 win Monday night against Black Ops as part of a protest against fatigue, sources report. “I’m protesting the lactic acids building up in my muscles by taking a…