Category: Ruination

Updates specific to Ashley’s Ruination team

League Proposes ‘No Tuck’ Rule

ANN ARBOR– Following Ruination’s 11-3 victory over the Ice-o-topes Saturday, league officials announced a proposed rule change generally known as the “no tuck” rule. “This is an outrage,” said players and fans regarding the announcement. Calling the rule “potentially sexist,”…

Ashley’s Weekend Preview

Ashley’s Hockey has a full compliment of games this weekend. Among the more exciting storylines to follow will include: Hopslam— The Hopslammers take on the Cleveland Steamers while asking: “What kind of crap is this?” Ruination— The Ghost of Hockey…

Ricky Steamboats Dragons and All That Jazz

ANN ARBOR– Forward Ricky Winowiecki scored the go-ahead goal with just minutes left as Ashley’s Ruination defeated the Dragons 4-3 Tuesday night. The goal was especially satisfying for Winowowiecki, who overcame a 10-minute misconduct and a hostile home crowd to score the…

Wise Woods Mentors Younger Players

ANN ARBOR– Despite the 2-6 loss to Depot Town Saturday, Ruination teammates– particularly the younger players– gained from the benefit of hard-fought wisdom from defenseman Mark Woods, albeit on most other things unrelated to hockey. “Remember, women are most attracted…

International Recruiting Efforts Paying Off

THE HAGUE– Following Ruination’s 6-2 win over the Ypsi Aces Tuesday night, GM Mark Woods, speaking from his office in the The Netherlands, expressed satisfaction with the franchise’s recent “international efforts” to recruit hidden talent. “We were very encouraged when…

Participation Trophy Anticipated

RUINATION– Ruination fell to Black Ops 8-9 Saturday evening, stretching their championship slump to five seasons. “I only have myself to blame,” said GM Mark Woods. “Mostly because hardly anyone ever showed up this season.” Explained Woods: “Apparently, things like spending…

Price, Performance Right for Winowiecki

HOLLYWOOD– Goaltender Ricky Winowiecki celebrated his 11-1 win over the Black Bears Saturday night and Ruination’s 8-0 topping of Black Ops and its 17-6-1 regular season record by visiting California, part of the Ashley’s Goodwill Tour, appearing on The Price…