ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination took full advantage of the missing goalie, scoring 11 on Mott, who was only able to muster four goals. There’s a twist however– Ruination was the team missing a goalie… sorta.
Unbeknownst to players, General Manager Mark Woods held what he called a “totally super secret goalie try-out” Saturday evening. “We have two or three guys who play net, and a few more who’ve more than joked about wanting to play between the pipes, so I decided to give them a real world test,” said Woods.
Players took turns huffing each other’s gloves (a crude version of drawing straws) to determine who played net. Defenseman Anthony Ciatti drew he first 15 minutes, allowing only one goal.
“I’ve been longing to play goal for Ashley’s and I was able to get a taste of what that experience might be like,” said an excited and somewhat queasy Ciatti.
Brett Vogel drew praise from several players and officials for numerous saves despite being ill-equipped. Other players pitched in, as well. However, the second period saw three more goals scored, all by Mottster Matt Kolehmainen. “I don’t know who was playing net when that guy scored a natural hattrick,” said Woods, “but he’d better step up a little harder next time if he ever plans to play pseudo-goal again!”
The “try-out” ended by the late second period, and Rusty Barron was finally allowed onto the ice, where he stopped the remaining dispirited attempts from a Mott team utterly man-handled by Ashley’s. Asked why management would take such a risk, Woods simply smirked and turned his burnished leather chair slowly round to face the darkened city’s lights from his penthouse office. “Doris, please show the news reporter out, thank you,” said Woods simply, with an inexplicable hint of a British accent.
“It’s nice to know you’re playing mind games with me,” stated Barron, shaking his fist in defiance in the general direction of the GM’s office.