ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Hopslam finished their season on a somewhat flat note, losing to the IceMen 2-6 Saturday, making it exceedingly difficult to write anything hilarious in the news report.
“I’m pretty sure I was on the ice for all six goals,” lamented defenseman Ricky Winowiecki. Since the league statisticians do not track plus-minus ratings for players, this assertion went unverified, further frustrating any written attempts at jocularity.
The team further compounded the problem by simply drinking beer and saying relatively little around reporters. How can a guy write anything funny if you mother(bleepers) don’t say anything stupid for me to write about?
So, whatever. Gary (Witt) scored a goal. Tom (Colis) scored. Ha ha ha, that was great. Sooooo funny.
Whatever.
I’m going to get some Chinese food. Moo Goo Gai Pan: now that’s funny!
(Note: Beat writer Mark Woods was promptly dismissed following the submission of this news report. Ashley’s Hockey News (AHN) is committed to bring the finest and timeliest sports coverage of the AABL (Ann Arbor Beer League), and thanks you the reader for your support and patronage –Mark Woods AHN Editor-in-Chief)