ANN ARBOR–Under foggy conditions not unlike Grand Banks off the island of Newfoundland or in every episode of Scooby Doo, Hopslam dismantled the Yak-a-topes 9-1 Wednesday evening on the frozen banks of Lake Choppyvarsity. Despite the weather conditions, Andrew Thompson dominated, putting in a goal and adding 4 assists. Bob Brock, Tom Colis, and Mike Leighton each had two goals. Leighton added two more assists, while Colis and Nate Greenman each had three assists. Almost everyone got in the act of scoring… almost.
Defenseman Mark Woods drew heavy criticism from teammates when, on a break, went to the backhand instead of his slightly more powerful forehand shot. “The backhand? Really?” asked Colis. Not surprisingly, Woods failed to draw a point.
Reporters said Woods claimed to have “been in a bit of a fog” and was also hazy on the details of his decision-making process. In frustration, coach Mark Woods moved him to left wing in the hopes of increasing scoring production, but the defenseman was unable to capitalize on any chances.
“We let him play in three leagues,” said league official Adrienne Standbridge. “He’s not in trouble or anything, but…”
“I had plenty of opportunities,” Woods exclaimed in exasperation. “And I would’ve gotten a goal if it weren’t for those rotten kids.”
Added Woods: “Yaks are like goats, right?”
In fact, Yaks are more closely related to cows, as both are members of the Bovidae family.