ANN ARBOR–Sources near the Ann Arbor Police Department have reported a “turf” war among the various so-called hockey pimps may be on the verge of breaking out following the arrival of two newcomers.
“They bad dudes,” said the son of the guy who played Huggy Bear – “Snuggy Bear”. “Word is, they’s tryin’ to form a late a new team, dig? Using the Ashley’s name.”
“M’ Daddy ain’t gone take kindly to that,” added Snuggy Bear.
The newcomers have been spotted cruising several hockey rinks in the greater Ann Arbor area, including the Ann Arbor Ice Cube, Vets, and Cold Stone Creamery. The two have been seen sporting fur-lined hockey jerseys and platform skates, talking to roller hockey players. The two men were detained briefly for questioning, but later released.
“We identified the two as ‘Paul Showtime’ and ‘J Philly-On,'” noted police chief Ezra Collig. “These guys haven’t done anything… yet. But, we’re keeping an eye on them.”
“We don’t need another war, like the one we had back in 2011,” added Collig, referring to upheaval of M’ Daddy’s arrival and subsequent takeover of the C and D Leagues.
Several skaters who declined to comment officially following Ruination’s 4-8 loss to Casa Dominck’s expressed apprehension over the possibility of a reorganization of teams and players. The arrival of new pimps to “the game” as it is called among the various players involved typically leads to instability and increased violent activity.
M’ Daddy, who “manages” the Ashley’s “stable,” fired off a warning. “Them mutha (bleepers) best watch their step. Don’t be trying to pimp what’s mines.”
M’ Daddy also noted that the two should “check themselves before they wreck themselves.” He added several other cliched rap anthems, including “pimpin’ ain’t easy” before walking away with his Bauer S3 pimp cane.
Showtime and Philly-on were not available for comment.