Category: Hopslam

Updates specific to Ashley’s Hopslam team

Alien Hockey Invaders Exposed!

ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hockey Franchise came under scrutiny Friday when a picture circa 1947 began circulating clearly depicting two contemporary Ashley’s players. “You can clearly see that (Ricky) Winowiecki and (Kenny) Schmidt are in their mid to late twenties in…

Mundane Ghosts of Past Relived

OSCODA– Defenseman Mark Woods reflected on his journey to Beer League greatness Saturday before Hopslam’s 3-3 tie with Sasquatch with a visit to his adopted home town of Oscoda, MI, Saturday. “Lot of memories in this place,” he said bemused.…

Former Ashley’s Player Released Back into Wild

BOZEMAN– Montana is the site of many wonders of nature, including Yellowstone and Glacier National Park. However, a new natural wonder can be included with the release of Zebediah Bruckman back into the wild. “He’s in his natural habitat,” said…

Sutton Given Highest Honor

ANN ARBOR– Not since the Wizard of Oz himself handed a heart to the Tin Man has a higher honor been bestowed than early Monday morning as Hopslam finished their on-ice drills following its Saturday night win over the Cleveland…

Ashley’s Weekend Preview

Ashley’s Hockey has a full compliment of games this weekend. Among the more exciting storylines to follow will include: Hopslam— The Hopslammers take on the Cleveland Steamers while asking: “What kind of crap is this?” Ruination— The Ghost of Hockey…

Center Detained at Customs

DETROIT– A championship that nearly wasn’t… Chris Sutton, upon his return from a rehab facility in Cancun, was detained for several hours by Homeland Security agents for “suspicious comments” made upon arriving in Detroit prior to Hopslam’s championship clinching game…

Donde est Rico…?

PLAYA DEL CARMEN– Success and fame are fickle friends, and no one understands this more than one-time D1 goalie Rico Winowiecko, aka Rico Savo. Following his 5-4 win in Game 1 of the D1 championship series for the Winter 2017…