ANN ARBOR–Amid the disappointment of losing to the Ice-o-topes 2-3 Saturday night, Hopslam managed to take some solace in the fact Bugs Bunny’s famous “slow ball” pitch. “He’s a bit wascally, so it’s no wonder,” said GM Mark Woods following the game.
Mid-way through the second period, Bugs threw the pitch right up the middle, with defenseman Mark Woods taking the first crack at it. “One, two, three strikes, yer out!” exclaimed an out-of-body voice, presumably the umpire. Goalie Paul Sholtis tried with no luck either, and Topes forward Robert Huggard managed to poke in the tying goal.
Said Bugs: “Watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful, paralyzing, poifect, pachydoimous, percussion pitch.” Unfortunately, the threat proved good in the third as the Topes took the lead with about five minutes left.
Despite a flurry of activity in the waning seconds of the game, the team was unable to secure the tie, and the Tea-Totallers defeated the Gas-House Gorillas 96-95, as the team had no choice but to receive a lecture from the Statue of Liberty.
Sources stated that most readers under the age of about 35 may very well not remember Bugs Bunny beyond movies featuring the cast of Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan, a now obscure basketball player who reportedly launched the entire shoe craze known as the “Air Jordans,” a product purchased by many, many fat white kids thinking they would be able to dunk as a result of the $200 purchase.