ANN ARBOR– Trash talk is a big part of any game plan, but the institutionalization of such has proven controversial ever since the Senate passed the Player Projection of Insults Act (or Yo’MamaCare) in 2011. Results have been at best, uneven, typified in the stunted exchange taking place Tuesday night between Hopslam winger Gary Witt and Gates Maidens & Men defenseman David Ludkin in Hopslam’s 3-2 victory.
President signs Yo’MamaCare into law late 2011.
“Under the provisions of the act,” stated GM Mark Woods, “A player is required to call out another player as something that rhymes with a female body part, followed by a response of like kind. Both players will trade insults until a shoving match ensues.”
Added Woods: “At least that’s what’s supposed to happen.”
However, results are often quite different from intentions. “You’re a (bleep),” Witt stated as prescribed.
“Mulva?” asked Jerry Seinfeld in an attempt to clarify.
Ludkin, however, did not reply, forcing Witt to add, “You really are.”
The lack of response underscored the problems with Yo’MamaCare. “It only works if you leave it alone and let the players sort it out for themselves, ” said Woods. “Instead you have all these regulations and bureaucratic red tape… no one knows what to say or when to say it!”
Woods then added that the Maidens & Men were “so fat, they look up the cheat codes for Wii Fit.”
Goals by Chris Sutton, Witt, and Ricky Winowiecki in the second period will also have to be used as a salve for the failure of the government act.