ANN ARBOR– As stoic as a Hemingway character and as brash as each and every member of Metallica, Luke Bell sounded the alarm for a lumbering Sasquatch comeback bid, scoring 2 goals and assisting on a third to pull away 5-1 early Wednesday morning.
Unnamed Sasquatch player answering questions following their game with Hopslam Wednesday
Bell, known for his on-ice antics (re: making snow angels on the ice after a penalty shot goal), was ever the showman Wednesday, quietly taunting players on the Sasquatch roster. The ploy clearly got under their skin, as both David Lesnau and Eric White each received game misconducts.
“Luke has a way of just saying nothing, skating without really hitting anyone, and somehow (bleeping) off just about every skater on the other side,” said GM Mark Woods. “He’s easily the most hated man in D1 hockey!”
The haters, however, cannot argue with the results. After closing the gap to 2-1, Bell took over, scoring mid-way through the second period and with just under two minutes in the second.
For added measure, he ripped a nice pass to Mike Leighton, who scored with under three minutes left in the game to seal the victory.
True to form, Bell had little to say, but did note that the team seemingly scored more goals and played better defense without defenseman Mark Woods, who suffered an undisclosed “upper body” injury. Teammates claim Woods suffered a small sprain, while others think he simply doesn’t like venturing out in sub-zero temperatures in the middle of the night. However, sources will not confirm any speculation made.
“Mark is fine,” said GM Mark Woods. “It’s nothing a little Tiger Balm and a lot shut-up won’t heal.”