ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Hopslam was perhaps the lone bright spot in what was otherwise a string of unfortunate events taking place over the weekend. The team overcame a late-arriving goaltender to defeat the Ice Dogs 4-1 Saturday, getting goals from four different players. Not much else went right after that.
The Lombardi Trophy was replaced by shadow-seeing rodent Punxsutawny Phil. “This one’s for long-johns” said Broncos owner Pat Bowlen.
“Jeff (Phillion) was late so the Sasquatch goalie started until he was dressed,” noted Al Juback, who had a goal and three assists. “‘Squatchie’ (Jason Oaniastas) let in the only goal. Jeff had a shutout the rest of the way.”
Snow, sleet, and ice created a messy mix for travelers, making roads quite treacherous. “They closed the Barnes & Noble early in West Bloomfield,” noted defenseman Mark Woods, who has been placed on injured status for the last week, noted. “We had to slide over to the Barnes & Noble over in Northville!”
Things went from bad to worse from there. Sunday, in a trio of disasters, fate played its hand, dealing No. 10 Michigan with its first Big Ten loss in basketball to the Indiana Hoosiers, the high-flying Denver Broncos nearly get shut out in a lopsided victory for the Seattle Seahawks, the Detroit Red Wings lost to the Caps 5-6 in overtime, and perhaps the most depressing, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, guaranteeing another 6 weeks of winter (plus an additional 6 weeks for those living in the Mid-West, plus another week for those in Michigan).
“Don’t expect to see green grass until May!” cackled Punxsutawny Phil’s handler (ironically named Phil Handler) cackled.
That said, Hopslam did their part to make things a little better, including a goal and two assists from Chris Sutton, a goal and an assist from Bernie Bachli, and a goal and penalty from Bob Brock.
“Actually, the most depressing thing is having to get up and drive an hour to work in 2 degree weather,” said GM Mark Woods wryly.