ANN ARBOR– Inspired by the rental skates worn by winger Shawn Lopez Tuesday night, Hopslam officials announced plans to move the team to a roller rink for the Spring 2014 campaign.
Hopslam’s new gear revealed following their 4-3 win Tuesday
“I think the players and the fans will love it,” said roller skating fan Peter Wolf of J. Geils Band. “They can listen to us playing ‘Freeze Frame‘ between plays.”
Wolf later explained that he was in Ann Arbor after taking a wrong turn off the freeway. “I musta got lost,” he noted.
Eric Pfeiffer, who scored his first goal of the season in Hopslam’s 4-3 win over the Ice-o-topes late Tuesday, praised the decision as one of courage. “It’s like a transvestite walking into the Ladies room– that takes balls.”
Nyle Pfeiffer, Al Juback, and Don Restauri also scored, with helpers coming from Mike Leighton, Brett Vogel, Bernie Bachli, and Luke Bell.
Most of the players had positive comments regarding the move. “I needed new socks, anyway,” said Leighton, who looked forward to the 1970s two-stripe over-the-calf socks that defined not only the sport, but an entire generation.
“It’s a bold move because we’re no longer going to play hockey,” said GM Mark Woods. “We’re just going to skate around, have some popcorn and cokes, and cruise for chicks.”