ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination fell 1-5 to the Black Bears Tuesday night, prompting the inevitable question: how? “We’re a good team,” said Ricky Winowiecki, who scored the lone goal. “We just played badly.”
John Steinbeck used Burns’s line for the title of one of his novellas set in the Great Depression era
Several players were quick to take responsibility for the loss. “Dude, that was all on me,” said forward Sean Payeur. “That was my fault.”
“I agree,” said defenseman Jason Spence.
Defenseman Mark Woods also felt responsible for the loss, though fellow defenseman Anthony Ciatti was quick to defend him. “You played a great game,” he noted.
Woods, who moonlights as a research analyst by day (perhaps more correctly termed “sunlights”), noted that in championship games versus the Black Bears in the last two seasons, the team is 0-3 with him on the ice and 3-0 with him off the ice. “Once is a fluke, twice is a trend,” said Woods, echoing the words of famed SportsCenter broadcaster Chris Berman. “Three times… well, that’s just gluttony.”
The team also pondered the possibility of the seating arrangement in the locker room, failure to think pure thoughts prior to and during warm-ups, and perhaps a conspiracy involving the referees, administration, and the Illuminati.
In the end, however, defenseman Brett Vogel, a former English major, waxed philosophical, quoting Scottish Poet Robert Burns: “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley (often go astray).”
Words true in 1785, and ringing true today, the team finished their beers and returned home to their thoughts of what might have been, to the Spring season forthcoming, and whether or not to get some Taco Bell this late at night.