ANN ARBOR– In a stunning turn of events Wednesday, the Red Team council (dubbed Ashley’s Aventinus) voted member and defenseman Mark Woods off the island in CBS’s latest installment of Survivor: Iceland. “You miss one game, and you’re out,” lamented a shocked and dismayed Woods.
Ashley’s Aventinus poses after their 4-2 win over the Ice Cats Wednesday, prior to voting Woods off Survivor: Iceland.
The game featured a back and forth battle that began with Aventinus rushing out to a 3-1 lead in the first period. Gary Witt, returning from a concussion last season with Ashley’s Hopslam made his bid for team and league dominance with the first score of the game. He later stated plans to lead in both scoring and beer consumption.
Jeff Price added a goal minutes later, but the Ice Cats scratched their way back a minute later. However, Scott Bray returned fire to pad the lead.
Both teams played even the rest of the way, though the Cats scored mid-way through the third to cut into the lead. A feverish finish ended when Justin Baier (who earlier assisted on a goal) dropped in the empty netter, securing the win and the necessary votes to remain on the island.
After the game, the tribal council agreed that Woods “had absolutely nothing to do with the win,” and was summarily voted off. Other reasons used to justify the decision included his incessant demand for payment of the season, his arresting good looks and luxuriant hair, and excessive shouting.
Woods very nearly conceded until sources from the National Opinion Research Center in Chicago leaked a possible miscount due to dubious voting methods. “I demand a recount!” exclaimed Woods.
“Some dimple-faced Chad will not be the ruination of me,” he said, referring to Chad Broward, who has gained notoriety for his dimples and who has been accused of voting fraud in the past.
Woods added that he wanted to see the votes and all the “Gore-y details.”