ANN ARBOR–A tense battle between Ashley’s Ruination and Thompson’s Pizza Tuesday night resulted in a 4-1 win for Ruination, complaints over heretofore unknown referee Fred Molnar, and a spearing incident resulting a match penalty for Thompson’s Erik Longen, a last minute addition.
Video evidence from the A2 Ice Cube shows Longen (left) spearing Payeur (right), which may result in 30 days to a year suspension
Longen, who moonlights as a jousting knight for the Grey Gables restaurant in Charlevoix, MI, used his medieval training to engage in several pitched battles with players, including Ruination defenseman Sean Payeur. The third period fisticuffs ostensibly ended with two fighting majors for Longen and Payeur. However, Longen was not satisfied. “Cometh forth, thou knave,” shouted Longen. “And let lesson be kept by pain upon thy person!”
Content to verbally joust, Payeur reportedly “went nuts” when Longen produced a low blow to Payeur with his stick. Referees Jack Wallace and Molner had to restrain both players. Payeur was given a game misconduct while Longen received a match penalty. “The new ref sucks,” concluded Payeur. “He can’t even skate backwards.”
As of press time, Payeur was cleared by doctors in time for Payeur’s highly anticipated late night Cinemax movie marathon. Longen, however, in the wake of the pending investigation, has been suspended from play, told not to go into elevators with his fiancee, and has been fired from the Grey Gables. “We don’t actually offer knights jousting as entertainment,” said Grey Gables manager Gabriel Graybiel. “He was just some nut jobber I assumed was from the Renaissance Fair that we let wash dishes.”
Brian LeFevre scored two, including the short-handed goal that proved to be the game-winner. Matt Schaefer (goal, assist) and Shawn Lopez added goals in the win.