ANN ARBOR– Disaster will soon strike when University of Michigan president Mark Schlissel will make good on his vow to destroy Ashley’s Ruination when he confers degrees on several players, including perennial all-stars Dexter Benda and Jordan Swift.
“We all knew this day would come,” said Schilissel from his evil lair, reported to be a bunker deep within the University somewhere near East University Dr. in Ann Arbor. “They (Ruination) will now face my wrath!”
Schlissel also added that he looks forward to having Benda and Swift proudly represent the University in years to come as productive “leaders and best.”
Said GM Mark Woods: “All this just because I he didn’t make the cut in the B-league?”
Added Woods: “I didn’t make the cut!”