A splash of excitement filled the Goon Squad locker room after beating off Ruination (2-2-1) 12-1 early Sunday morning. While the win did not erase the championship loss in overtime last season, several Squaders expressed satisfaction.
The tone was set immediately when Goon #6, affectionately known as “that douche bag with the red helmet” blasted a shot from the point past goalie Rusty Barron. Four more goals found their way in the net by the end of the first.
Ever the savvy veterans, Ashley’s was not overly-excited.
“We’ll come back,” said defenseman Mark Woods. It certainly seemed prophetic, as Devin Collinridge scored just thirty seconds into the second frame. However, Goon Squad shot back quickly, scoring just a minute and fifteen seconds later. They would add two more before the period’s end.
“They played inspired hockey, tonight,” said GM Mark Woods. “They earned it.”
According to sources, Goon Squad players have already dismissed the Ruination as top contenders, stating that the championship will come down to them and the Cleveland Steamers.
“That’s a load of crap,” explained Woods.