Spicy Boys Kicked in the Side Biscuits

ANN ARBOR– Ruination defeated Side Biscuits Spicy Boys 6-2 Tuesday night to move to 2-0 in the Summer season, despite having only 8 skaters. “Yeah, we really kicked ’em in the biscuits,” said Glenn Beach. “The side biscuits.”

Younger teammates understood the reference, but were uncertain from whence it came, prompting Beach to explain that he got it from rap-band Digital Underground’s 1989 release of “Dowhatchalike,” which peaked at No. 29 on the U.S. R&B charts as a remix in 1990. “Just grab ’em in the biscuits? Humpty Hump? Remember?”

Most of the players stared blankly, though one tried to relate, by saying he “really liked that rap star Drake.”

“I remember Digital Underground,” noted GM Mark Woods. “But, then I remember when L.L. Cool J and Will Smith were rappers.”

Added Woods: “I even remember Kool Moe Dee.”

Woods was then provided blank stares, until several players Googled the names, shrugged, and continued to view Tik Tok videos for the next several hours.