Category: General

General news pertaining to the players, teams, the league, or even hockey in general

President Sleeps Through Ruination Tie

ANN ARBOR– Amidst a grueling travel schedule, President Joe Biden was caught dozing during Ruination’s 3-3 tie Tuesday evening with Bull Schlitz. “C’mon, man,” entreated the president. “I was at the COP26 just the other day, they have me coming…

Pocket-Sized Ricky Real Hit with the Ladies

ANN ARBOR– It’s well-documented that people tend to shrink a bit with age, but few (besides Lily Tomlin) have achieved what seems the impossible: shrinking down to mere inches. Philanthropist and defensive player Ricky Winowiecki has achieved just that. “I’m…

WidowMaker Trash Talk Not Effective

ANN ARBOR– Despite the trash talk by Widowmaker players Friday night, the team failed to intimate the Jurassic Puck players, who went on to beat Widowmaker 2-1. “We tried to add a little intimidation to give us an edge,” said…

‘Gramps’ Okray Tells of the Legend of Sasquatch

GRAMPS OLD FARM–Matt “Gramps” Okray spun a tale lovingly referred to by older family members as “The Legend of Sasquatch” to wide-eyed grandchildren late in the evening Thursday. “Up against an unbeatable monster. Sasquatch,” started off Okray, pausing for dramatic…