Hopslam Wins in Varsity “Sauna” Amid Fears of Climate Change

Hopslam started its summer season with 6-5 win over Bearshark! despite sweltering conditions Sunday night. “It must have been 50… 52 degrees in there!” noted Kenny Schmidt.

While temperatures were not officially recorded, several players noted the “humidity” in the one rink that has been historically cooler than the other rinks, prompting many to wonder if this may be the result of changing weather conditions, often dubbed “Climate Change.”

“I mean, it is summer,” said GM Mark Woods. “And, we’re making ice in the middle of summer. It’s probably going to feel a little humid.”

Woods’s comment was met with backlash from social media outlets, including comments from @SicNultz13: “Sounds icy-MAGA talk to me,” and @BustinJaier31: “What an ignorant statement! #DeSactiwoodius”

Aaron Renberg scored two goals, and defenseman Mike Leighton scored the game-winning goal with 40 seconds left. Neither had any comments about the controversy, though both were notably sweaty following the game.