Good thing beat writer Mark Woods was actually at the game to witness Ashley’s Aventinus (2-0) beat Mott Foster Kids 6-1 Wednesday night, though he has only a dim memory of who scored which goals. “I’m pretty sure Jeff Phillion scored maybe two goals, and Chris Sutton had one or maybe two.”
“Definitely Jen Perry scored a breakaway,” added Woods. “I remember that.”
Players and fans have complained about the timeliness of the articles in recent weeks. Management has apologized, citing recent changes to the newsfeed received from official AABHL (Ann Arbor Beer Hockey League) channels. League director Abe Colwell noted that “with lots of teams, this is like, a lot of work coordinating it and stuff.”
“We don’t really care about the stats or the accuracy,” said forward Dave Ferguson. “We just want the articles.”
That being the case, there was no finer skater than defenseman Mark Woods, who absolutely controlled the game from start to finish. Mott couldn’t get a shot off when he was on the ice, and he probably would have scored a ton of goals except for the fact that he’s also such a great team player. Gorgeous women were throwing phone numbers and various articles of clothing as he walked to the locker room after the game.
“I’m just happy I could be a part of the team,” said a dashing and modest Woods.
Aventinus and people who actually enjoy the real facts breathlessly await the stats updates from league officials and articles that convey more truth than fiction. Party poopers.