Shoulders to Cry On, Ruination

Frustration marked a team looking for answers as Ruination (1-3) lost to a reloaded Mott team. “I’m pretty sure I recognized No. 19 from the B-league,” said defenseman Paul Sholtis.

Investigation into the allegation showed that at the least, Mott did not have a #19 rostered at the time of the game. However, news wire updates have been slower than expected since director Abe Colwell implemented the controversial carrier pigeon system. “Those little birds are flying their hearts out,” said an unnamed league official. “So, if it takes a little longer, then it takes a little longer.”

Ruination has suffered a spat of misfortune, including shoulder injuries to wingers Dave Winn and Josh Pohlmann. In addition, defenseman Jason Spence has yet to report to camp this season, forcing the team to play defense by drawing straws. “They put me in on defense,” said center Nate Greenman. “I was happy to say that no one got by me, and no one scored when I was on the ice.”

“They asked me to move up after I ran into (goaltender) Rusty (Barron),” Greenman added.

Ruination suffered a 2-5 defeat in Saturday’s game, but hope to rebound against Thompson’s Pizza Tuesday. Fortunately, Pohlmann, who recently took up archery, said his shoulder is okay, and he’s ready to play. “I figure if I can shoot a bow, I can play hockey,” he said.