ANN ARBOR– The 2-2 tie Friday night fueled speculation of a market downturn among the various managers of the Widowmaker hedge fund. “When you have an up and down day that ends with no gain, or a ‘tie’ as it…
Day: July 17, 2023
BREAKING NEWS–Pletcher Uses Hermione’s Time Turner to Attend Multiple Games
ANN ARBOR– The Quidditch.. er, Hockey World was rocked Sunday evening to discover goaltender Gary Pletcher has been illegally time turning in order to attend multiple games at the same time. GM Mark Woods noticed this following the Hopslam game…
Goalies Decide They’ve Had GAA Too Low, Far Too Long
ANN ARBOR– In a stunning turn of events, both Matt Okray and Gary Pletcher announced that they were “sick and tired of having super low goals against” following Hopslam’s 7-7 tie with the Cleveland Steamers. “The pressure to maintain a…