ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Aventinus may have lost the championship game last Wednesday, but they managed to keep what counts: their teeth. And, that’s more than can be said for Leaf winger Jon Hyde, who took a header into the boards with seconds left in their 5-0 championship win over Aventinus. The result: The boards won, Hyde two and a half… teeth, that is.
“Nobody skate,” warned the referee. “We have to find his teeth.”
Though not confirmed, the teeth were allegedly found, but it is uncertain if Hyde will be able to get them replaced.
The loss of teeth was no comfort to Aventinus players, who found themselves searching for answers. “I thought for sure we’d win,” said defenseman Mark Woods.
GM Mark Woods found himself scrambling for reasons. “Uh, it was the reffing. They were terrible. Um, the other team was filled with ringers. Somebody showed us a championship trophy before our games and gave the team bad mojo. I’m handcuffed by the salary cap. My tummy was hurting. It was a full moon or something.”
Leading sports analysts, however, attribute the loss to the mere fact that the Leafs scored more goals than Aventinus, citing that “if you score more than the other team, you’re generally going to win most, if not all of your games.” The analyst looked eerily like John Madden, of NFL Football and EA Sports video gaming fame.
“Boom,” added the analyst.
Aventinus looks to reload for the summer season, set to begin next week. They carry with them a heart full of dreams and a head full of teeth.