TORONTO– League officials announced early Monday that hall of fame defenseman Bobby Orr was named the Ann Arbor Ice Cube’s Beer League Emergency Manager. In a move that stunned most, Orr immediately filed for Chapter Nine bankruptcy protection for the league, citing problems corruption and crime as a major reason for the league’s decline.
“Penalties have been on the rise ever since the Perani’s Riots of ’67,” said Orr. “We simply don’t have enough money to bring in enough referees to police the ice.”
The decision has met with some resistance, however, as circuit court judge Karen N. Thegifts ruled in a late session that the filing violated the league’s Constitution because it could cut managers’ pensions. “Dog food casseroles aren’t going to magically pay for themselves when I’m retired,” exclaimed an exasperated and concerned GM Mark Woods.
Judge Steven Rhodes of United States Bankruptcy Court is set to hear deliberations next Monday in regard to the bankruptcy filing. Attorney John Vella was asked to be a part of the deliberations, but passed on the opportunity, citing a conflict of interests.
Orr stated that he was confident that his decision was best for the league, and anticipated that he will be “flying high” once the matter is resolved.
Overshadowed by this was Ruination’s 3-2 victory over the Cleveland Steamers Monday night.