ANN ARBOR–Never mind the game; goals are given and received, players score, fouls are committed, teams win and lose. But, it’s called a beer league because someone brings beer to EVERY game… until now.
Amid the insignificance of the 0-4 loss sustained by Aventinus Sunday night, the team was utterly crestfallen to discover that the cooler containing the very reason for playing hockey (if not existing) was not there waiting for them. “Where’s the cooler?” asked a desperate Mark Woods.
“I think I left it for Jeff (Phillion) last Wednesday,” said winger Ken Coleman through dry, parched lips.
Phillion fought through the haze that only fatigue and dehydration and a lack of extra calories that beer provides to remember… “Bleep!” he cried, anguish clearly written over his face.
Filled with contrition rather than hops and barley, Phillion hid his face in a towel until the team quietly filed out. He later broke his stick in a sober rage.
“I don’t know what the big deal is,” said GM Mark Woods. “The Prohibition Gang over here doesn’t even drink beer. The cooler is filled with Gatorade and fresh salads! What kind of beer league team is that?”
“I’ll take a lemon-lime… and ranch dressing for the salad, please” added Woods.