ANN ARBOR–Forward Bob Brock has fallen upon hard times–quickly. No sooner did the league announce his suspension following an altercation in Hopslam’s 3-2 win over Cubs AC Wednesday night than Brock was found with not much more than tattered rags and an old hat similar to childhood hero and legendary football coach Paul “Bear” Bryant sitting outside of the rink.
“My gosh!” exclaimed GM Mark Woods. “He looks like he’s a 123 year-old Bolivian sheepherder or something.”
Brock appeared in the stands briefly during the third period, giving the “thumbs-up” following Keith Kotimko’s goal in the third period, giving Hopslam the lead.
“I guess I’m out next game,” said Brock. “I sure hope they win so I can play again.”
Team doctors, however, expressed concern over the physical toll the stress has clearly taken on Brock. “I am concerned over the physical toll the stress has clearly taken on Brock,” said Dr. Gump.
The stress may also be in part to the game itself, which featured several ties and lead changes. Following two scoreless periods for Hopslam, Ricky Winowiecki, back from his failed recruiting trip to Jamaica, tied the game ten seconds into the period. Laura Leone tied the game for Cubs with six minutes to play.
However, a critical mistake by the Cubs defense allowed Shawn Lopez to knock in the game-winner with just 0:13 seconds left in the game.
“Great job, everyone!” Winowiecki praised.
Brock sat in the dressing room with the team and expressed relief for the victory despite drawing criticism for getting thrown out of the game. “Way to screw up the lines, Bob!” stated Scott Coates, who moonlights as a sensitivity training speaker.
When asked about the fight and potential culpability issues, Brock invoked the classic “playground” defense. “He hit me first, so I hit him back!”
Trainers hope to reverse the aging process in time for Brock’s scheduled return. “We’re gonna need about 200 gallons of L’Oreal’s Age Perfect Hydra-Nutrition,” said Woods.