Feezel Heads to Busch Leagues

ANN ARBOR–In the waning moments of Hopslam’s improbable 5-6 collapse Wednesday evening to rival Yaks, the finality of it all sunk in for forward Even Feezel, who found himself overcome with emotion.

“Aaaaugh!” he cried, emotionally distraught. “It hurts!”

Indeed, teammates could only helplessly look on as Feezel writhed with pain under the realization that this was his last game with the storied organization. Feezel recently exercised his option under Plan B free agency, and will head to Denver, Colorado in just under two weeks.

“Wait, are you leaving for ten days or leaving in ten days?” asked a confused and disbelieving Paul Sholtis.

“Help me off the ice,” whispered Feezel, but teammates, thick with emotion, simply could not bring themselves to do it. Yak players assisted the emotionally drained Feezel to his feet.

Feezel leaves after just two short seasons, but left a lasting impression. “We’ll miss Evan,” said GM Mark Woods. “I just hope he’s careful out there. Those Busch leagues can be rough. Injuries happen all the time.”

Added Woods: “What do I have to do to keep him here? Twist his arm? Hack the knee?”