ANN ARBOR–Ashley’s Ruination fought off a zombie-like performance from the Black Bears to win 8-3 Thursday night and advance to the semi-finals of the Summer 2013 season. Matt Schaefer poured in four goals while Sean Payeur added a goal and two assists. Goaltender Shawn Lopez enjoyed two shutout periods before giving up three goals in the third with the game essentially decided.
While not noted on the stat sheet, defenseman Sean Alquist, Payeur, and winger Sean McGrath swarmed the Bears defensively. One fan noted that the puck “was in their end the whole game.”
When GM Mark Woods congratulated the team by saying “Shaun” is clearly the best player, four skaters left the locker room feeling particularly good. “Some of the guys looked a little stiff out there, but they seemed to get good wood (on their shots).”
“I think it was because of the underwear model that showed up for the game,” added Woods.
The unidentified fan, later determined to be Payeur’s “sister,” allegedly drums in a two-piece band with Payeur (guitar, lead vocals) called the Stripped Whites. According to Payeur, the band plans to get “rowdy” later.
“Imagine a toaster strudel commercial and you pretty much get the idea,” said Woods.
Noting that everything seems to break down to something of a prurient nature whenever Payeur is involved, Woods noted, “the guy watches so much porn, he sprays the side of his truck with a little gasoline after each fill-up.”