NIFLHEIM– Residents of the netherworld “below” were surprised late Tuesday night to find the normally febrile conditions radically altered following Hopslam’s 5-6 loss to the Ice Men in Ann Arbor. Temperatures plunged overnight, leaving officials somewhat baffled. “We haven’t had the place iced over like this since Ought Seven,” said a local resident.
Underworld frozen over late Tuesday night, road notably paved with good intentions.
While causes remain under investigation, fantasy sports fans were momentarily distracted and delighted to find that defenseman Mark Woods scored two goals for the evening, both backhand shots and power play goals. “It’s always a good feeling taking advantage of a team that has fewer players than you on the ice,” said Woods. In fact, four of the five goals for Hopslam were power play goals.
Woods’s two-goal night however, was marred by Ice Men’s Evan Mathis, who scored his second goal with just under two minutes to play to give the Ice Men the lead and the win. Teammates are hopeful Woods can continue to score more goals in the future.
“Yeah, right!” laughed Woods. “The last time I scored two goals was… I think in 2007!”
Other notable freezes occurred in 1994, with the reunion of the popular 70s band the Eagles, and in 1962 following Adalai Stevenson’s celebrated demand that Soviet representative Valerian Zorin answer whether or not the USSR was installing missiles in Cuba.