ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Aventinus coach Mike Shanahanna-Montana came under fire Wednesday night, announcing that he “may very well opt to keep Ron Coleman on the bench for the remainder of the season” following the team’s 3-1 semi-final win over North Coast.
Aventinus coach Shanahanna-Montana urging players on the ice to “Back-check!”
Calling attention to nagging injuries and multiple hits throughout the season, the coach pointedly refused to acknowledge blame on players, trainers, or team doctors. “It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. What matters is he’s getting hit,” he said.
Ron Coleman III, in just his second year with the franchise, suffered season-ending injuries when he sprained his wife’s patience upon returning home “late again and smelling of one (mostly one) Labatt-Blue consumed in a dingy locker room.” The star defenseman from Baylor has worked hard to get back into the rotation, making the coach’s decision all the more baffling.
Shanahanna-Montana has opted to start RC3’s cousin, Kirk Coleman, citing the fact that this person doesn’t actually exist (unless by coincidence) as “inconsequential.”
The embattled coach admitted that the decision would be controversial. “We’re going to have a circus atmosphere any time you make a decision like that,” he noted.
Teammates showed support by ignoring the declaration, opting to focus more on the game, which included goals from Nate Greenman, Justin Baier, and Jeff Meden’s non-getting-bumped-up-to-Tier-I empty-netter with just :07 left in the game. In fact, several players claimed to be unaware the team even had a coach. “Sounds like a parody, if you ask me,” noted defenseman Mark Woods.
Aventinus will face the Goaldiggers in the best-of-three finals starting Sunday.