ANN ARBOR– Ashley’s Ruination remains unbeaten after a daring move made by player-coach Anthony Ciatti, pulling the goalie in the final seconds to give the team the extra attacker and a 3-3 tie with the Depot Town Stags early Wednesday.
“I think that was one of our best games as a team,” said Ciatti.
Depot Town players celebrate after scoring a go-ahead goal with less than a minute to play
Leading a rag-tag fugitive fleet cobbled together from the twelve colonies of mankind– including Luke Bell and Michael Leighton, Ciatti navigated the team calmly through Depot Town’s methodical attacks, tying the game with a Shawn Lopez goal mid-way through the second period. However, all hope seemed lost when the Stags added a third goal with under 30 seconds to play.
That’s when Ciatti made the bold decision to pull the goalie. “Usually Jeff (Phillion) is off the ice for the first part of the game,” noted GM Mark Woods, speaking of Phillion’s celebrated tardiness.
With the extra attacker, the team jumped into action, scoring with just :05 seconds left in the game, securing the tie.
Ruination skaters pose for team photo following their 3-3 tie with the Stags
With the crisis averted, the Staglons pushed back, the great battlestar known as Ruinatica resumed its lonely quest…a shining trophy known as the C-league championship. Lesser known teammate Lieutenant Zac noted that he was happy to push back the Cylons, but still wished that he had Jesse’s girl. “I waa-ah-aunt Jessie’s girl,” he said.
Sources note that references to 1970s television programs that ran only one season will not likely be understood by anyone who was not a boy born in the late 60s or early 70s. “Plus, Buck Rogers was way better,” said unnamed sources. “Fewer Mormon theological references and more Erin Gray.”
Added sources: “Erin Gray was hot.”