ANN ARBOR– The thrill of victory was tempered Saturday night when the Cleveland Steamers held Ashley’s Ruination scoreless by forfeiting the game, keeping the high-powered offense off of the ice for three full periods.
The secret to getting back into the game after sustaining hurt feelings
“It’s a brilliant defensive strategy,” said hockey analyst Barry Melrose. “Just like keeping your hair long into your late 50s and slicking it back with Pomade.”
“The ladies love it,” added Melrose.
While coaches seemed generally unconcerned, players worried about the lack of scoring. Defenseman Mark Woods, known for his point-a-season offense noted the forfeited game decreased his chances of scoring his point for the season.
“The forfeited game decreases my chances of scoring my point for the season,” said Woods.
Director of Player Personnel Mark Woods pointed out that Woods has been on the injured list over the last two weeks after suffering bruised ribs and hurt feelings. “Apologies were given and accepted,” said the director. “It’s just a matter of time before he’s done sulking.”
“He’s just tired. The li’l tyke just needs a nap and some cookies and milk,” added Woods.