ANN ARBOR– Celebrity referee John Stamos expressed his “absolute disdain” for Ashley’s Ruination Saturday following the team’s 1-5 loss to rival Black Bears. “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s yogurt,” said Stamos. “And Ashley’s Ruination.”
Referee John Stamos taunts Ruination with bad calls and salty yogurt
Throughout the game, Stamos was at best aloof when team members tried to reason with him over questionable no-calls. At worst, he was truculent, yelling at various members of the team, including defenseman Sean Payeur, who clocked in with 3 penalties totaling 9 minutes. Payeur admitted he “lost [his] cool out there,” clearly forgetting the lessons Stamos offered on the hit series “Full House,” where he played the lovable Uncle Jesse.
During the second period, Stamos called too many men on the ice after Payeur and a winger jumped into the play following a penalty. Defenseman Mark Woods tried to question the call, prompting Stamos to give an impromptu logic lesson. “You had six players on the ice, therefore you had too many men,” he said condescendingly, indicating the number of men with his fingers.
“I’m not questioning the conclusion,” said an exasperated Woods. “I’m questioning the premise.”
Devin Collingridge admitted that there were six men on the ice, but unsatisfied with the attempt to mollify, Stamos proceeded to act out, allegedly breaking Collingridge’s finger at the start of the 3rd period. “I got it broken during the face-off,” noted Collingridge.
In frustration, the team mustered all of their collective energy in the waning minutes of the game to at least spoil the shut-out, thanks to a Shawn Lopez goal. “Yeah! (Bleep) that guy!” yelled a defiant Payeur.
However, the effort wasn’t enough to retain the prized trophy in the teams’ Golden Wee Wee rivalry series. Winger Ricky Winowiecki was particularly crestfallen. “It’s the reason I get out of bed,” he said, disappointment clearly written on his face. Team members tried to console, noting that “as long as Stamos is out there calling games, there will always be a pecker not far from us.”