ANN ARBOR– Proving that eco-friendly solutions really can make a difference, the hybrid model Ruination (known as the Hopslam-ination) managed a 6-3 win over Depot Town Stags Saturday night. John Vella had three goals and an assist, while Andrew Thompson had two goals and an assist in the win. Jon Molnar added a goal and an assist.
Diagram of Hopslam-ination hybrid model, whose marketing slogan reads: “No pucking way!”
“They were extremely efficient, by design,” said German engineer Hans Gruber of the AutoMannshaft-Leistungsfähigkeit Division of Daimler-Chrysler. “We expect nothing the less.”
The team, comprised of members from both Ruination and Hopslam had a strong two periods, building a 4-0 lead that held until mid-way through the third period before the Stags Thomas Selter (2 goals) scored. The Stags managed to cut the lead to two goals with about six minutes to play, but a miscue allowed Vella to score his third goal on an empty-netter with a minute left.
The one drawback to the design, however, was the lack of beer in the locker room following the game. Explained Gruber, “(Sean) Payeur was supposed to come mit ze beer, however, his… volatility can prove to be tricky when developing an efficient model such as Hopslam-ination.”
“So, we go mit-out the beer for this game, ya,” added Gruber.
Players, however, were a bit crestfallen with the lack of beer. “It’s a win that feels like a loss,” said net-minder Jeff Phillion in the Hopslam locker room hours earlier and in reference to a last second goal that cut the lead but did not affect the outcome.