ANN ARBOR– Special Ops Mark Woods’s cover was blown Tuesday night when he “accidentally” scored on goaltender Rusty Barron early in the first period in Ruination’s 3-9 loss to Black Ops. “Apparently, I had infiltrated the team, gained their trust, even became the manager,” said Woods.
Woods clearly anguished after scoring on his own team and dealing with media-fueled allegations of being a secret Black Op. “It’s not a rumor!” said Woods, mixing movies.
Added Woods: “However, I have no memory of the plan.”
Woods was just as surprised to find himself in a video with Black Ops manager Vilos Cohaagen apparently laughing about the so-called “memory implant” that led Woods to believe he was “just another member of the Ashley’s team.”
“We needed you to feel genuinely bad about slowly dragging the team down,” said Cohaagen in the video. “Skating poorly, missing passes, shooting way too high and wide of the net season after season.”
Noted Cohaagen: “But, in about 30 minutes, Ashley’s will be in ruins, and I’ll be home in time for corn flakes.”
Despite the subterfuge, Ruination staged a comeback bid mid-way through the third, pulling to within 4 goals. Jason Spence had a goal and two assists, while Sean McGrath and Devin Collingridge each scored in the third. However, it was not enough, as the team suffered just its third loss of the season.
At last report, Woods resisted the memory implant, disavowed any actions taken as a Black Op, stated that creating blacks-only operative unit was “racist,” and told everyone that his name was “not Quaid.”
Relieved, Woods noted that he felt he could “breathe again.”