ANN ARBOR– Ruination opened the Winter 2014 playoffs under a cloud of controversy Saturday when goaltender Rusty Barron criticized the so-called “management magic” of GM Mark Woodseone. “It’s really Ryan (Bidwell),” asserted Barron.
Making “an offer he won’t refuse,” GM Woodseone secured Calgary Flames game-worn socks for the team on this, the day of his daughter’s wedding… or did he?
Players were initially excited to discover game-worn Calgary Flames socks as part of the playoff roll out. “Sweet!” exclaimed defenseman Anthony Ciatti. “I was just looking on eBay for some Calgary Flames socks!”
When players asked how the socks were procured, Woodseone claimed to have “masterminded” the move. “I called the equipment manager for Calgary and asked him for their old stock. They sent what they had right over.”
At that point, Barron revealed that Bidwell, Vice President of Player Personnel, in fact made the call and has orchestrated several “sock ops” over the last several years.
Barron also noted that the socks were not gifted to the team, but that the front office paid for the socks on the open market, noting that the only thing that might be impressive was the shipping and handling charges were reduced by half. The news prompted a crestfallen Jason Spence to state, “I was a little more impressed when I thought (Woodseone) knew the guy and that this was a gift.”
Woodseone simply and quietly laughed the incident off. “I guess I’m just not the mastermind manager I thought I was,” he said with a slight New York accent– perhaps Brooklyn or Long Island. The team was then treated to a 5-0 forfeit victory when Trend Millwork’s goalie Jack Woltz failed to show up, allegedly frightened from participating when his prized horse was decapitated and placed in his bed. Matt Schaefer scored twice, while Sean McGrath had a goal and three assists. Paul Sholtis had a goal and two assists, and Al Juback opened the game with the first goal.
As of press time, faint accordion music could be heard playing.