First, there’s a bacon bowl, now Rusty Barron is guaranteeing nine straight shutouts? What’s next– portable bidets? Please?
ANN ARBOR– A very confident Rusty Barron shrugged off the 1-10 performance from a depleted Ruination roster against the returning Goon Squad Tuesday night, noting that he will enjoy the challenge of leading the league in goals against. “He’s spotted the other goalies a ten-goal lead,” said GM Mark Woods. “But with nine shutouts over the next nine games, he’ll be back at 1.00 goals against.”
“And that’s not too shabby,” noted Woods.
Barron looked on with indifference at the box scores posted on Ashley’s stats page following the game, though he did note that he felt sore. However, he remained nonplussed, calling Goon Squad “the gift that keeps on giving.” Team statistician Marge Innovera (of Car Talk fame) noted that Paul Drevnick’s lone goal for the team made entering the stats “a breeze.”
“Paul Drevnick goal, Tom Colis assist, and John Vella penalty… is good hockey stats,” she noted with a slight Eastern European accent.
Barron’s prediction of nine straight shutouts is being hailed as the “craziest thing since Joe Namath,” according to beer league hockey enthusiasts. “But, stranger things have happened. Bacon bowl, for example.”