MEAN STREETS– Hard-boiled private detective Mark Woods immediately recognized something was amiss as Ashley’s Hopslam faced a turbo-charged Cubs AC. “Something ain’t right, see,” growled Woods.
Private Detective Woods solves hockey-related crimes, all shot in film-noir grittiness
A note with the letterhead of the Ann Arbor Ice Cube was carefully slid under Woods’ office door nearly a week ago with a hand-written message that simply said: “Blarney.”
“The budget didn’t allow for a trip to Ireland, see,” said Woods. “So, I had ta stay close to home.”
“See,” added Woods.
With no other leads, Woods arrived at the game, hoping for signs of foul play. Several toe-drags attached to unfamiliar faces provided the initial clues. Carefully accessing the league’s database, Woods found that the nefarious McAllister Brothers (Christopher and Matthew)– wanted in several states for skating in lower-tier leagues despite their advanced skill (known as “tier-bagging”)– were listed on the Cubs roster.
Though Woods was battered by C. McAllister, who also managed to fire a shot past goaltender Shawn Lopez, justice prevailed as police chief Abe Colwell stepped in and apprehended the two-man crime syndicate. “Those guys are on ice, see,” quipped Woods, in typical 40s-style gallows-humor.
The game ended in a 1-1 tie, with the lone goal scored by Scott Coates.
Woods returned to his office, threw his hat on the desk and sat back with a bottle of Scotch. No sooner did he take a sip before a light rapping at the door revealed “this dame, see, with the knock out gams” asking Woods if he would take the case– finding the missing Keith Kotimko, who was last seen skating with a pulled groin in early April.