ANN ARBOR– Winger Jeff Price scored two goals against the Goaldiggers Sunday to secure a 5-2 victory for Ashley’s Aventinus. Both shots were the result of break-away opportunities. “I was like… okay,” said a surprised and opportunistic Price.
Price displays secret weapon of algae-rich Toledo water, which he claims is eco-friendly, or “green”
Aventinus scored two goals in the first, the first by defenseman Mark Woods mid-way through the period, and the second by Bernie Bachli five minutes later. But, Goaldigger’s forward Karin Fujimoto answered back, with two goals in the second period.
“Without price, economics as we know it would collapse,” said Economics professor C. De Monaie from the University of Paris, in an unrelated statement.
Price gathered the loose puck, and blazed forward, eluding the back-checking defenseman, and sending the shot toward the goalie for the goal. He would repeat the process again in the third.
“The shots clocked in at about 70 mph,” said a rink official. “Cumulatively,” he added.
More surprisingly, Price did not receive a penalty for the game. In fact, neither team committed a penalty, though several fans were nearly assessed a minor for loitering when referees were confused by their presence. Officials had to explain that in rare instances, non-playing “fans” will come to watch the game “for sport.”
Amy Senne also scored, while Bachli, Jen Perry, Nick Lamb, Dave Ferguson, and Ken Coleman (2) assisted.
When asked the secret to his success, Price modestly attributed it to the viatmin-enriched Toledo tap water, and the moderate temperatures due in large part to the so-called Polar Vortex, which he ultimately attributed to Global Warming. He later revealed an autographed picture of Al Gore that reads: “Keep paying the Price, Jeffrey.”