Alternate universes can be determined by seeing a twin with a slightly different look, such as a goatee, or alternately colored beard, as in Witt’s case
ANN ARBOR– Despite the 5-1 win, Aventinus skaters admitted to being “a bit creeped out” by what appeared to be an alternate-universe Gary Witt skating for the Yaks 2 team Sunday night. “He looked eerily like Gary,” said GM Mark Woods, “expect he had a red beard and an even crazier look in his eye.”
Added Woods: “Come to think of it, Gary was there for the game. I wonder…”
Speculation that Witt had dyed his hair and posed as an opponent were quickly dismissed when Amy Senne hooked him (listed on the roster interestingly as Bary Mitt) bellowed in pain. “Oh, Gary’s voice isn’t nearly as deep,” a player noted. “This guy is at least an alto.”
Scott Bray scored two goals, while Justin Baier, Les Withrow, and Tom Colis each had a goal in the win. Ginny Klinesteker added two assists.
Witt’s Doppelganger tried to further distance himself from Witt by “skating like Kenny (Coleman),” as noted by Senne, who had the best look. When players tried to finally determine the identity of the player, he was gone, not to be seen. Scientists have speculated that a “worm-hole” had briefly opened, allowing the alternate universe Witt to come through, play, and return to his universe. “Or, it could be that another equally big dude with a big beard plays hockey, but that’s kinda out there when you think about it,” said scientists on the theory.