ANN ARBOR– Feelings were mixed Tuesday when the Ann Arbor Ice Cube announced that the league would receive sponsorship from insurance giant Mutual of Omaha. As a goodwill gesture, former Nebraska-Omaha player John Thomas played in what he believed was a charity event, not realizing that his goal and two assists helped to give the Ice Dogs a 4-2 victory over Ashley’s Hopslam.
Older Gen X viewers will recognize the strange looking iPad-like tablet above as a 1960s television receiver (antennae not pictured)
“Anything for the fans,” said Thomas, who said he was playing for the Make-a-Swish Foundation, an organization that was initially dedicated to getting LeBron James back to Cleveland and will be dedicated to getting him out after the gambit fails to produce any championships.
“Omaha! Omaha!” cheered Chris Sutton during the game. He noted with approval that sponsorship from the Fortune 500 company would likely come with a DVD collection of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom Complete Series set. Thomas, inspired by the cheers, redoubled initial efforts, adding two assists in the final minute and a half of play to lift the Dogs to victory.
Andrew Thompson opened the scoring in the first and Ashley’s forward Matt Okray added another as the team built a 2-0 lead to end the first period. However, the Ice Dogs unleashed what has been called their “insurance policy,” letting loose Thomas in a dizzying array of stick work and low, fast shots on goal tender Jeff Phillion.
To Phillion’s credit, he allowed only one shot from Thomas to sneak through. The fourth goal was an empty-netter, not credited to Phillion’s Goals Against Average. “To me, that’s a victory,” he said with enthusiasm.
When asked about the incident, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning simply shook his head and said, “Omaha… Omaha…”
The sponsorship is set to begin sometime this week, and will include a series of balloons shaped like tiger claws throughout the building, and several “fun-sized” candy bars in a bowl, which will be placed out for fans and prospective clients.