SCIO TOWNSHIP– Call it another Sunday of deer hunting with a Hyundai (known as bow and light weapons season), but the events of Sunday night turned dangerous for avid sportsman Dave Ferguson just prior to Aventinus’s 2-1 win over the Ice Cats.
Ferguson learned the hard way that a Hyundai is not the ideal weapon for effectively killing a deer.
According to reports, Ferguson loaded up his car and drove at the requisite hunting speed heading East on Scio Church in hopes of bagging at least a 6-point buck. “Dave has so few points this season,” explained GM Mark Woods. “He’d settle for anything.”
However, the hunt went wrong when the “deer’s head and upper body were heading at [him], airborne.” Hunters have complained that the 2009 Hyundai models have a tendency to stun deer more often than killing them “clean,” as it’s known in hunting circles.
“Had I been looking forward the eyes would have been nasty,” said Ferguson of the damage done to the side window upon impact in an uncharacteristically Southern accent.
However, Ferguson was able to duck out of the way in time to avoid any sustained injury– just a few minor cuts from the shattered glass. He attributed his cat-like reflexes to his hockey training. “My quick reaction came from years of playing forward with (defenseman Mark Woods) at the point – and having to duck to avoid the slap shot,” explained Ferguson.
Sidelined for the game, Ferguson could only watch as Mark Johnston and Tom Colis scored in the win. Justin Baier had two assists.
Though Ferguson claims the deer is “certainly dead,” the Odocoileus virginianus (or white-tailed deer) in question was found grazing amid the trees for berries and roots. When questioned, it claimed that only its “feelings” were hurt from the impact of the small compact car.