Hopslam: “I Never Taped Bill Cosby”

ANN ARBOR– The controversy over legendary comedian Bill Cosby continued as several Hopslam players were forced to defend themselves against allegations of engaging in illegal copyright infringements– transferring Cosby’s vinyl record albums to cassette, or “taping,” following their 3-3 tie with the Cleveland Steamers Saturday.

Several more have been accused of taping Bill Cosby, including several Hopslam players.

Several more have been accused of taping Bill Cosby, including Hopslam players.

According to sources, several players allegedly taped Cosby, whose albums include Bill Cosby Is a Very Funny Fellow: Right, To Russell, My Brother, Whom I’ve Slept With, and Revenge, with most of the cases having occurred about thirty years ago. “It was a different time, where young men could tape someone and often get away with it,” noted cultural anthropologist and activist Devine L. Reckird. “Victims have rights… copyrights!”

Victims of tape– illegally transferring vinyl albums to cassette– often never report the crime, with many claiming to not have known it was a crime. While taping of any kind is unacceptable, particularly egregious acts include taping several artists (known as a “mix tape” in an attempt to impress young women. The practice was largely abandoned, replaced with more acceptable forms, such as the iPod “play list.”

“I’m not sure how Mr. Cosby will ever recover from such a thing,” said Reckird. “I hope these guys are ashamed of themselves.”

Every Hopslam player under the age of 27 claimed that they had “no clue what a tape even looks like.” Peter Girz finished with a goal and assist, while Matt Okray and Chris Sutton each had a goal in the tie.