Roklen, holding the coveted “Keyboard Award” for outstanding penmanship, awarded each year to the player with the best public speaking skills
RUINATION– Management announced Tuesday following Ruination’s 6-1 win over the Black Bears that forward Jon Roklen was traded to the Boston Bruins (short for Bruination, or affectionately the Brewin’ Nation for their love of craft beers). “This is my last game here,” said Roklen with a mix of emotions. “I’m heading to Boston on the 11th.”
Teammates reacted with shock over the trade. Several players, including defenseman Sean Payeur, shook hands with Roklen in the locker room following the announcement. “Good luck,” Payeur said soberly. Payeur then drank three beers in rapid succession and proceeded to talk less soberly.
Roklen finished the game with a goal. Tim Bredernitz and Jason Spence each had two goals, while Brian Lefevre finished with 3 assists.
When asked who Roklen was traded for, GM Mark Woods admitted that he forgot to actually specify any terms for the trade. “Um… I guess no one,” Woods admitted sheepishly. Bruin GMÂ Peter Chiarelli called it a “typical beer league” move, noting that Woods’s skill as a manager working in the big leagues left something lacking.
“It’s like he wasn’t even a part of the decision-making process to get Roklen to Boston,” said Chiarelli.
Woods wished Roklen the best of luck just the same.