SEATTLE– As if the Deflate-Gate coverage wasn’t already enough, allegations that the New England Patriots “deflated” fans throughout the Pacific Northwest Sunday have surfaced. Dubbed “Deflate-Gate II: Electric Boogaloo,” NFL officials have been forced to open a new investigation.
“I’m sad,” said deflated Seattle fan Polly Phemous. “My eye patch is soaked with tears.”
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell admitted that there is a “distinct possibility” that Seahawk fans may be somewhat deflated as a direct result of the Patriots. “Losing in that fashion can leave Seattle fans feeling a bit down,” he said.
Other groups, including several high profile analysts have suggested that the deflated fans may be directly attributed to a questionable offensive play call in the waning seconds of the game. Sources, including everyone watching the game, noted the Seahawks elected to pass the football over the middle rather than hand it off to hard charging running back Marshawn Lynch.
“What exactly does this have to do with hockey?” asked several (all right, all) of the readers of Ashley’s Hockey.com, not realizing that Aventinus’s traditional Sunday night game was postponed due what TV producers called a “ratings decision.”