ANN ARBOR– District Court 14a ruled against winger Matt Okray in what has been dubbed DeflateGate III, following disparaging remarks regarding the amply sized Ice Dog James “Not Thurgood” Marshall in Hopslam’s 3-3 tie Saturday night.
Okray was given an unsportsmanlike conduct early in the third period after Marshall scored. “Nice cherry picking, you (bleep)!” he reportedly said, according to court documents.
The Sensitivity Police were immediately called, and Okray was given crispy stares and slow head shakes. “It’s not racism,” said Officer Emo, “but it’s like racism against larger people.”
Added Emo; “I think it’s called… bigotry, and there’s no room for that here in America.”
Okray pled no contest, and will undergo 40 hours of sensitivity training with fitness guru Richard Simmons.
“He’ll learn that it’s what’s inside a person that counts,” said Simmons, referring to Marshall’s spirit, joie-de-vivre, and most likely not the many many hamburgers.
David Gaydos scored two goals, and Andrew Thompson added one.