Beer and tears flowed late Saturday as the Ann Arbor Beer League adhered to the ban on alcohol for lack of volunteers to take the cooler. A harsh lesson in economics and social psychology.
ANN ARBOR– Conservative groups cheered as the United Beer League Association (UBLA) passed into law as part of the Hockey Constitution an amendment prohibiting the “consumption of wine and spirits, beer and any curious liquors” for “medicinal, recreational, or any other purposes.” The vote won 1-0 late Saturday night as Hopslam defeated Gates 2-0, giving goalie Matt Okray his second shutout for the season, and a 1.89 GAA with an impressive 7-1-1 record.
There were mixed emotions, clearly, as the team celebrated the win with what appears to be their last beer.
GM Mark Woods tried to see the bright side to what many see as “dark, dry days” ahead. “At least we don’t have to go through the painful process of guilting people into taking the cooler any longer.”
The UBLA was quick to respond, saying that the organization will happily repeal the law if “more people more readily volunteered” to take the cooler. “We’re trying to help the poor four players funding and fueling the others’ alcoholism through what is clearly a non-functioning, socialist system,” said UBLA president Adam Smith.
“When you place the beer on the volunteer, you get an empty cooler and an empty room,” added Smith.
Rumors that former winger Scott Coates has set up a speak easy in the back of his Ford Explorer have immediately circulated.